When life gives you foghorns, count your blessings?

There are realities in every life utterly beyond anyone’s control. Consider the foghorn.

Under certain weather conditions, a ship has an obligation to blast its foghorn at regular intervals. It does so to keep the seas safe for other vessels.

When one sits on a deck in the vicinity of said sonic safety device, the resulting report can be… distracting… to say the least.

It startles me enough to make me jump the first several times at least that I hear a foghorn during any given hour. It is sufficiently loud that my instinct is to clap my hands over my ears like a toddler would. I tend to let out a nervous giggle with every sonorous report. Conversation must stop.

While on vacation, at sea, in the North Atlantic Ocean, we’ve encountered more than our fair share of fantastic conditions, but there have been plenty of overcast hours. As it happens, our favorite place to spend the non-wind-whipped ones has been a Retreat Cabana we reserved for our voyage. These amenities are situated on deck 12 of 14 of our temporary home-away-from-home.

From the sound of it, these otherwise luxurious rentals sit directly under the ship’s foghorn. Without a doubt, the source is nearer deck 12, forward, than our staterooms on deck 4, aft.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the frequency of the foghorn blasts was dictated by a ship’s speed or other specific conditions, but I know almost nothing about maritime rules. What I can say is that the foghorn sounds at an interval just long enough that one forgets it is coming, right up until it trumpets its way back into your ears and central nervous system.

My husband, it’s fair to say, is not a fan of the foghorn. He spends more time outdoors than I do, and he frequents the Cabana more often than I do. Thus far, he’s tried noise concealing headphones and foam earplugs to dull the noise and continue on with his work, but the distraction continues.

I’m absolutely sympathetic to the necessity and value of the foghorn, and all the other safety innovations that make a modern cruise safer than the maiden voyage of the Titanic. I hope this post comes across as something absolutely distinct from a compliant! That said, my heart kept stopping and my ears kept ringing on our foggy Cabana mornings, and I wasn’t sure that was optimal, either.

On about the third day that the foghorn menaced my peace of mind, I had an epiphany. It’s stentorian reverberations, after all, meant we continued on our way, all systems go, all of the important stuff quite right with our isolated little floating world.

I decided, with every foghorn blast, to adjust my reaction into counting my blessings.

Loud noises shut my eyes and often prompt me to clasp my hands at my heart. Why not follow that lead and take a moment in gratitude for the gift of safety, the ability to hear a warning offered with beneficent intentions, and the joy of my functional if reactive body?

I can’t say that the foghorn is my favorite aspect of traveling by sea, even so, but our relationship has improved.

I love the waves. I find the atmosphere and pace of cruising conducive to contemplation. I marvel every day aboard a ship at the luxury of having the time and funds to see the world this way.

And, now?

I hear the blast of a foghorn, and I’m reminded to count my blessings. They’re as myriad as the waves in the sea.

And, if occasionally obscured by the mist, my other faculties remain to offer clarity.

What’s a clarion blast if not a call to action?

What better action to take than finding the good in an inconvenience?

I still prefer a clear blue sky, but I’ll hearken to the value of the foghorn.

Thanksgiving lessons learned: one mom’s (grateful) battle to enjoy labor-intensive holidays

I love that Thanksgiving reminds me to take stock and be thankful for the abundance of blessings in my life. I am blessed. I am thankful. I’m grateful for a holiday devoted to that awareness.

Thanksgiving give thanks - 1But then there is the reality of celebrating Thanksgiving in America as a mom. It involves a lot of cooking, a lot of shopping, and a lot of stress.

Let’s all keep in mind that I’m not a great cook. I can produce reasonably healthy and palatable food for my family; I don’t enjoy cooking.

Shopping the gauntlet

I start shopping right after Halloween. I buy the wine as early as possible for obvious reasons. I pick up our family celiac’s favorite gluten free stuffing mix from Trader Joe’s as soon as it arrives for the season.

Pantry goods are easy to buy ahead of the rush, and doing so helps spread out over multiple weeks the costs of a sit down dinner for 20.

I’m grateful for Amazon Fresh delivering my last minute, fresh foods on the day before Thanksgiving. Grocery stores are hellish just before this holiday! Having the items I want dropped off right to my door is a Really Wonderful Thing.

We enjoy seasonal, local bounty direct from family-owned farms in New England via Farmers To You. This year ’round service is especially gratifying as the autumn harvest rolls in. I’ve posted before about my commitment to support our regional food shed with my grocery dollars.

A humanely raised turkey from Misty Knoll Farms as the centerpiece of our feast is something I’m proud to feed my family and friends.

Cleaning the house

As we catalogue my faults, let’s remember that I’m not much of a housekeeper, either. Hosting a large meal raises certain expectations for minimizing the usual daily clutter. Having out of town relatives to stay means prepping the guest room and the downstairs bathroom, too.

I have to confess: this year, I didn’t get as much done as I’d have liked to prepare for houseguests. I struggled to forgive myself for that, but I used up every iota of energy that I had prepping for Thanksgiving in other ways, choosing to prioritize the feeding of 20 people from seven households over the immediate comforts of close relatives.

I’m grateful that I’ve gotten better at acknowledging my limits; I’ll keep working on accepting those limitations with grace.

Planning on the level of a precision strike

The only way a less-than-stellar cook is going to get a meal for twenty on the table in something resembling good time is to create a plan that incorporates all the prep and cooking times for multiple recipes and integrate them temporally. Continue reading

Expressing appreciation while we can: exponential blessings

I think it is a wonder that our facile brains let us forget how lucky we are.

We should all cultivate gratitude, but it isn’t always easy. Modern media showers us with glimpses into lives so luxurious that even overfed Americans have room to feel hungry. We adapt so readily to both ease and discomfort that almost any conditions are bearable by the almost infinitely flexible human being.

I’m thinking along these lines because of a revelation from a friend. I won’t go into the details of someone else’s story, but suffice to say that a person whose company I enjoy has had a rather significant change in the fundamental status of her life.

I learned about this on Thanksgiving day.

Thanksgiving turkey cookie - 1Between the early morning “raw turkey wrangling” hours and the pre-dinner “just in time” food prep marathon, I spent a few minutes beginning a post about the amount of work that a traditional Thanksgiving meal entails. It is a great holiday, and I like it a lot, but it is easy to overlook the awesome scale of effort involved before you host your first dinner party for 20.

I was feeling a little pleased with myself; I liked the tone I’d struck in the piece. Mildly ironic, just how I like it, and a little funny and self-deprecating, but with a healthy dose of gratitude and awareness of my unreasonable bounty of blessings.

Seriously, no one person should get as much as I’ve got. That husband! Those sons! An embarrassment of riches!

And then came this short conversation, late in the day, with this friend of mine. It was a shock. In many ways, life will never be the same for the parties involved. It was nothing I was expecting on that Thursday afternoon. I thought my worries were oven once the meal had been served.

As a result, you get to read a rather enigmatic post that reveals nothing too personal about some stranger who can start her own blog if she wants to talk about her stuff… Yet I could not skip saying something about this.

I have to make this one point. I need to do it now.

Today is precious. The people around you are treasures to be recognized and enjoyed* while you have them. It can all change on a dime, and much of it is well beyond our mortal control.

Thank your wife. Love your children. Tell someone how much you appreciate them, or what they’ve done for you, or how they’ve impacted your life and made it better.

Life is too short; our memories can be, too. Try never to make the mistake of leaving gratitude, and good tidings, and loving gestures until they are too late.

Reach out today, and share your emotional wealth.

No one has ever said, “Gee, what a waste of time it was that I told so&so I loved her.” Regrets, however, abound.

*Though it is true: some treasures are better left where you found them. They will be discovered, and cherished, by someone else. But I will stand by this statement: every person is a treasure beyond measure.