Prioritize time with friends if you value your health

Do you prioritize your friendships?

Studies show—and common sense should confirm—that lives are healthier and happier when they include regular time spent in agreeable company. Getting together for coffee with a friend is as worthwhile an endeavor as hitting the gym or having your annual physical with the doctor.Espresso in demitasse cup on cafe table

“[R]esearchers have predicted that loneliness will reach epidemic proportions by 2030 unless action is taken”

and

“Current evidence indicates that heightened risk for mortality from a lack of social relationships is greater than that from obesity”

Quotes from a 2015 Meta analysis of research on loneliness/social isolation and its effect on health by Julianne Holt-Lunstad, et. al.

Yet, somehow, our culture presses us to “make time” for work (primarily) as if time can be spun from willpower alone and also lionizes those whose sexual relationships fit an idealized mold. Subsequent emphasis is then given to the familial obligations that result when offspring commonly results from the latter.

Woman hugs childTo the exclusion of all else, the role of spouse and, maybe, parent, especially if you’re a woman is presumed to offer all the emotional support one person needs, tacitly proclaiming romantic love* a panacea for every type of companionship.

Unfortunately, that notion is tragically flawed, placing outrageous pressure on one person to be “everything” to another when that is neither probable nor healthy. It kills marriages, leaving lonely people feeling like failures when they’ve followed the common wisdom and left their friendships behind after coupling.

Human beings are social creatures. We evolved to live in communities.

I’ve got it easier than most as chronic illness forces me to confront my limitations on a regular basis. If I wasn’t skilled at aligning my actions to my values before I got sick, having my physical energies truncated again and againand again so repeatedly has brought my focus to the point.

It’s a fine, sharp point, too!

Men, in particular, may literally be dying from loneliness, though social isolation is increasing for all genders. “Social” media is simply not sufficient to nurture human health and happiness.

People seated in beneath stone arches in Barcelona restaurantThough, by all means, keep reading my blog.

Call a friend. Make a date. Visit the pub. Take time to play a game together. Put it in your calendar, and prioritize it! Your other successes will mean very little if you go early to your grave for want of meaningful companionship.

*Modern philosopher Roman Krznaric wrote a wonderful article on how our interpretation of the thing we call “love” and how ours differs from that of the ancient Greeks. I highly recommend both the short article and his full length book containing the same work as a chapter.

Book How should we live - 1Search for: How Should We Live?: Great Ideas from the Past for Everyday Life

10 hour airport layover teaches me: respect for DFW Ambassadors

DFW Ambassadors are airport information employees well qualified for their customer service jobs.

How often do you think about modern air travel and equate it with kindness, respect, patience, and professionalism? Speak to a few DFW Ambassadors, and you might begin to lean in that direction.

That was my experience when I sought airport information in Dallas-Ft Worth in July of 2018.

airport information display boardIt’s more popular to spread videos of Airlines Behaving Badly and Flight Attendants Gone Rogue, not to mention Passengers Punching Each Other, but that stuff just makes for salacious headlines.

My blog will probably never garner millions of views, in part because I’d prefer to highlight useful DFW airport employees who staff information kiosks and answer questions for average travelers who never go viral. Without a 10 hour layover to attempt to fill with meaningful activity, I probably wouldn’t even have spoken to any of these folks. I’m happy that I did engage with a few. Continue reading

Café notes: Brew Lab Coffee, Edinburgh, Scotland

Fortified—or, perhaps, better described as “fat-ified”—with a salted caramel doughnut, I embarked upon the best espresso I’ve yet tried in the UK at Brew Lab Coffee.

doughnut on plateespresso with foam art served with sparkling waterBrew Lab is in Edinburgh, Scotland, an easy walk from the tourist madness of the Royal Mile. Located near a university, its clientele seemed to consist mostly of students and…pregnant ladies.

These notable women may also be students, but I was mildly amused to find myself seated next to someone immensely gravid on both of my visits. And, no, it wasn’t the same woman, unless she was a Mission: Impossible spy wearing an unimaginably perfect fake face. I think it is safe to describe Brew Lab Coffee as a family friendly establishment.

It is also a “coffee snob friendly” cafe. I find the coffee shops I wish to visit when traveling by searching for “single origin espresso.”

coffee shop menu board featuring espresso from Colombia and Peru

I’m not so elite a coffee snob that I refuse to drink any blend of beans, but I do find that the overall beverage quality is higher in shops that at least offer the option of exclusivity. Brew Lab Coffee features two different kinds of beans at the espresso bar: one for straight, black shots, and another for drinks blended with milk. That’s a clear marker that the drinks are going to be good.

And, yes! Yes, their espresso drinks are excellent. It is well worth a moderate walk up and down Edinburgh’s ubiquitous hills, through sometimes heavy rain, past a multitude of other shops offering fair espresso, and even with arthritic feet. Brew Lab’s coffee was so good, I did not explore the other fine options I read about online, but returned to savor it again.

heavy rain falling outside cafe doorcafe interior made of old stone, brick, and reclaimed wood

As luck would have it, Brew Lab Coffee is as charming a setting for a good sip as it is competent in the making of one’s drink. Like much of Edinburgh’s Old Town, the visitor will feel steeped in history here. The cafe’s brick walls and reclaimed wood elements are atmospheric, warm, and inviting. The warren-like layout offers cozy corners enough for all patrons, though admittedly this may not be the best hangout for those with extreme claustrophobia.

Hints of the space’s former use as an office remain in the rather cheeky access to the men’s toilets. I felt a bit indelicate photographing it as the large window offers a rather generous view. I liked the “Meeting in Progress” sign, however, and risked my Victorian sensibilities and the poor gents’ modesty with a quick snapshot.

phone displaying map to Brew Lab Coffee shop

Brew Lab Coffee is located at 6-8 South College Street, Edinburgh, EH8 9AA. It’s open seven days a week, and worth the walk from the Royal Mile.

http://www.brewlabcoffee.co.uk

info@brewlabcoffee.co.uk

0131 662 8963

And two more coffee varietals for pour overs at their brew bar, making four types in total. I stuck with my preferred straight espresso shots having only a few days in Edinburgh and a tragically low threshold for caffeine consumption.

10 hour airport layover teaches me: to covet Eames Lounge chairs

The up side to using airline miles to join your spouse at an international conference is paying a mere $18.10 for a Business Class ticket to the UK. The down side? A layover stretching just over 10 hours.

Being a glass half full type, I’ll get back to the positive: tickets in international Business Class get you access to premium lounges. The dreadful reverse?

DFW Lounge Eames chair - 1Now I wish I had a very expensive Eames Lounge chair and Ottoman of my very own.

American Airlines (AA) Admiral Club lounges, at least those at DFW, are known for having a few of these classic, Mid-Century Modern pieces of furniture.

DFW Lounge Eames chair row - 1Love or hate the looks, these are some radically comfortable chairs.

I spent at least six hours in one Eames Lounge chair or another this July as I “enjoyed” the comforts of DFW airport and visited all four Admirals Club locations therein. It made for a pretty solid product test. Having viewed the iconic seats previously in museums and catalogues, it was fun to take one for a spin.

DFW Lounge Eames chair ottoman - 1No part of my body hates any other part when I sit in an Eames Lounge. Try not to judge that statement if you don’t live with chronic pain. That’s a damn fine chair.

Not familiar with the groundbreaking and multidisciplinary work of designing duo Charles and Ray Eames during the 20th Century? Get an overview on Wikipedia or go straight to the goods at their official site, Eames Office.

For my favorite thing they ever did, view their nine minute short film, Powers of Ten. It’s on YouTube. When I wanted to show it to my children, I found it on DVD at the local library.

3 reasons I book domestic airline tickets in one way increments, not round trip

I keep being surprised by how many of my friends and family members still book domestic airline trips as round trips. Today, it is often smarter to book two separate tickets, one for your outbound journey, and another for the return.

Why?

Airfares within the USA* are no longer discounted for a round trip as opposed to one way. Your two one way tickets to and from wherever you’re headed will add up to exactly the same price as the round trip fare if you book the same segments.

If price is a draw, why book two separate tickets then?

1) If you need to adjust one segment of your journey, odds are your ticket these days is non refundable and costs over $100 to change. A domestic one way fare could cost less than the change fee. I’ve booked domestic legs from BOS-SEA, cross-country, for $119 in recent memory. On my favorite airline, Alaska, change fees are typically $125. Always double check fares for a new flight before paying an exorbitant change fee.

2) If there are changes to the outbound leg of your journey, your return segment won’t get screwed up when it is a separate ticket. Most leisure travelers avoid changing their airline itineraries because the costs are so high, but my husband travels for work. Due to his demanding schedule, it’s not uncommon for him to reschedule part of a trip. Changes to the outbound leg seem to have correlated with annoying, unexpected adjustments to his return flights. Usually, his seat reservation is changed. Occasionally, the entire reservation has disappeared from the system. Admittedly, DH has the worst travel luck of anyone I know, and a slew of amusing party anecdotes to show for it, but this is less likely to happen when two flights are booked as one way journeys.

3) You can book the best flight for your needs there and back, regardless of airline partnerships. This may be saving the best for last, but I suppose it needs to be stated for those who’ve never considering breaking up their domestic flights into two pieces: you aren’t beholden to one airline with this strategy. Book the combination of time, date, and airport that works best for you. This can be enormously more convenient for those who live near busy airports served by many airlines; it will matter less to those whose airport is part of a modern monopoly.

When is this strategy not a good idea?

Booking two one-way flights is good domestic strategy, but less often applicable to international flights from the USA with the big airlines, often referred to as “legacy carriers.”

The alternative, “discount carriers,” are more likely to offer one way bookings, even internationally.

NZ passport documents - 1If you are being reimbursed and your company accountants can’t accept two separate receipts for one trip, you’ll want to do what it takes to get your money back from the corporate overlord.

Some fare sales apply to “round trip fares.” You’ll need to meet whatever the stated conditions are to get the very best special fares, and that might include a round trip purchase.

Similarly, JetBlue’s frequent flyer program has gameified the mileage accrual process. There are bonuses to be earned, and a number of them depend upon “round trip” travel activity. If you are a points or miles collector, you’ll have to figure out whether one way flights will help or hurt your bottom line.

*Internationally, it’s usually old school all the way. Go compare fares for round trip as opposed to one way to Europe, and you’ll see prices thousands of dollars higher for the single leg.

That being said, you may save hundreds of dollars by booking a flight FROM Europe to the USA and back if you are considering spending cash for Business Class. You will still need to get to Europe to begin your trip, however.

This works if you have multiple trips coming up, allowing you to book your initial outbound flight TO EUROPE as a separate round trip coupled with with your ultimate return flight FROM EUROPE, leaving the Europe TO USA and FROM USA in the middle for a second ticket. It also works if you book your initial flight out using miles or points from a frequent flier program. Perhaps you’re taking a cruise, arriving in Europe by ship. Check one way and round trip fares back from Europe to the USA if you’re willing to walk away from an unused return and want the lowest possible fare, though choosing to ditch an unwanted return can have repercussions with the airline if you do it often because it is technically a violation of your contract with the airline created by buying the ticket.