Good habits work where will power fails: “novel” evidence

Working on this site has been a hobby of mine since 2017. I’ve achieved goals I set for working on it regularly for two long stretches, but I also gave myself permission to scale back the effort during one particularly stressful period.

Two years ago this month, my mother died. I’m no easy creature to silence, yet grief holds the power to still my usual ruckus.Torn black felt heart pinned to garment to signify grief and k'riah

Mom thought very highly of my writing. She was an extraordinarily competent individual herself, but in arenas such as powering through concrete tasks and meticulous calculation. Mom never pushed me to study “X” or pursue a career as “Y,” instead trusting my ability to forge my own path.

I recall a few instances, however, when Mom spoke of my creative skills with a tone of particular respect—once, almost in awe. Those moments stay with you.

During the most isolating months of the pandemic, one of my exercises in self-soothing was to imagine ways in which the world could be designed to make people safer from future outbreaks of airborne disease. I bored my family by going on about these thoughts, sketching out alternate forms of housing and transportation. If implemented, I envisioned sparing at least some of the population from the prolonged agony of isolation or the need to trade free movement for good health.

Toward the end of last month, I started incorporating* these notions into a novel.

I’ve started many novels before, and I even approached the roughly 2/3 completed mark with one in the early aughts. That was after I left my professional career in technology but before I dedicated myself to the home education of one of my children. Historically, though, writing fiction was my hobby, and I tended to pursue the work when I “felt like it.”

I would get as far as the first burst of enthusiasm took me, but rarely pick up again after leaving off to work, sleep, or tend to the kids.Hand written and self-bound documents

Intriguingly, this time is very, very different. I have to credit the habit of consistent effort cultivated through work on Really Wonderful Things. Twenty days have passed, and I’ve met or exceeded my writing targets for this novel on all but two.

Authoring a novel is one of my oldest, longest-term goals. I never doubted I would get around to it, but it always lived in “future willo’s” inbox. This summer, it has advanced to the top of my priorities assuming the health and safety of my family don’t require sudden, absolute attention.

Blogging has markedly improved my self-discipline as a writer. That’s not why I started the site, but I’m delighted by the development.

“Will power” as a concept for self-improvement fails us, especially in the short-term. Popular understanding of how it works is often wrong. We blame ourselves for problems largely beyond our control while failing to make the sorts of small adjustments that can help us, offering long-term success at living the lives we want.

Will power may desert us when we need it most, but gradual, incremental change geared toward improving the situation of one’s future self is possible for most. Crafting a life which intentionally reinforces positive habits can, over time, improve one’s ability to approach difficult yet meaningful tasks, or, conversely, to coax one away from harmful behaviors.

My novel isn’t done yet, so take my experience with whatever size grain of salt you believe it deserves. I do have over 24,000 words down on 108 pages, though, and every expectation that this time, I’m going to finish this particular book.

I’m still in love with my concept, and, most evenings, I find myself shooing away my family—whom I generally enjoy!—because I’m itching to get back to work.

If I were to write a dedication for this novel right now, it might be to “past willo” for putting in the time working on Really Wonderful Things. “Current willo” has a lot to thank her for.

* Careful readers may have noted these additions to my mid-year update to my personal goals:

  • Write 3 pages per day of novel, —and—
  • Complete first draft of same.

Ironically, though my novel occurs in a world where pandemic illness never recedes, I still view the project as utopian rather than dystopian, and I find the work to be a projection of my fundamental optimism about human nature in spite of our ubiquitous foibles.

Once, I had a headache which precluded interaction with a screen, and the other—weekend—night, I opted to watch a movie with my family because they are important to me, too. It turns out that I struggle mightily to produce creative work before late afternoon, though I’m better at most analytical tasks earlier in the day. Who knew?

Then again, taking one day per week off from an otherwise daily goal could be a reasonable, even helpful adjustment to a work schedule. God herself commanded a routine sabbath rest!

Novels tend to be works of fiction longer than 50,000 words

1 year of Really Wonderful Things with thanks to every reader

My first post for Really Wonderful Things went up on March 30, 2017.

Birthday cake 1 candle - 1Though I toyed with the idea of a blog for years, and even had one false start before Apple killed off iWeb in 2011, I let some combination of anxiety, inertia, and lack of direction still my hand.

My WordPress account required renewal almost a full month before the anniversary of any content going live.

Some of us are unlikely to ever reach the stage of throwing everything at the internet without pre-planning—even agonizing over—the details. It seems a wonder to me that I’ve published as many posts as I have.

Fortunately, I no longer require one or more family members to preview every post that I write. Unfortunately, I probably send out more typos and half baked ideas than I did when I monopolized more of DH’s and DS’s time.

The moment I hit upon this blog’s titleReally Wonderful ThingsI knew I could make it happen. Finally, I’d figured out the thread that tied my disparate interests together.

By God, I really do find all of this stuff pretty wonderful! More specifically, I realized that my heart’s desire was to communicate with others when I discovered something particularly useful or elucidating.

It is also no surprise that my first post was an attempt at sharing a system I’d worked out—for storing camping equipment of all things—with the world. I seem to get a greater than average measure of pleasure out of comparing and contrasting, sorting and applying information.

What better service can I offer than revealing the results of my tests and discoveries? I’m less skillful in the application of all this thought to objects in the real world.

My house is a mess, but my ideas runneth over.

I’m grateful for every one of you who has seen fit to humor me by reading some of them. I hope you’ve enjoyed these Really Wonderful Things as much as I have in sharing them with you.

Posting schedule: summer vacation is for blogging moms, too

I’ve been posting almost daily since April, when I started in earnest to write Really Wonderful Things. I hope that all of this hard work has built up a nice portfolio on a variety of topics, and that my archives now have lots to offer for new readers who stop by.

Starting immediately, my summer schedule will be a post on Tuesdays and Saturdays.

PEI beachSummer vacation, for us, means travel, family activities, and time away from our desks. Wifi isn’t readily available—nor would I want it there!—in the wilderness.*

I’m not neglecting those of you who do me the honor of following RWT. I’m unplugging. It’s supposed to be good for you.

And I’m really only unplugging a little bit.

If I have access to Wifi, I will still read and answer comments every day.

Contact phoneI expect I will continue reading most, if not all, of the blogs I follow, too. Following a blog can feel like making a friend. I want to find out what happens next.

I reserve the right to write extra posts at any time. I may not be able to help sharing Really Wonderful Things that I learn, see, or do this summer. I’m an enthusiastic over-sharer. It’s who I am.

Here’s wishing every reader** a summer season abundant in everything really wonderful to you.OR Florence - 2011

*Maybe wilderness can be defined here as the local park, or a campground with hot showers, but the point remains.

**I know I have some followers from the Southern Hemisphere. You are headed into winter. Perhaps my summer posts can help warm your cold days.

31 days of blogging: the origin story of Really Wonderful Things

One month of daily blogging: completed!

I have toyed with the idea of blogging from the minute I heard it defined in the 1990’s. A friend who values my judgement (and addiction to comparison shopping) has been prodding me to start one for reviewing products for years.

Sometime last spring, the idea came to me to call “my imaginary future blog” Really Wonderful Things. At last, I’d figured out what tied together all the stuff I wanted to write about: being wonder-full.

Really Wonderful Things are ideas and objects, passions and people—anything that strikes me as a force for good, or a source for a good wonder. I wonder about lots of things. I find human accomplishments incredibly wonderful. The world is full of wonders to explore.

My husband reserved the domain name for me last year as a mother’s day gift. And then it sat while I focused on other things. This year, just before the renewal notification for the domain registration arrived, I was working on an organization project for our camping equipment. I thought, “Someone else might find these ideas helpful.”

And—it’s about flipping time!—I took action. My first post was Organizing the chuck box & storing camp kitchen gear

On March 30, 2017, reallywonderfulthings.me was born.

Inspirations

Aside from the support of my ever- occasionally-patient family, and the prodding of one friend who really wants to know how I find and rate the myriad useful objects in my life, two other people sparked life into this blog.

Crazy Russian Dad

I am friends with a guy who’s a busy, successful professional, a loving family man, and, in his spare time, an entertaining YouTube innovator with thousands of followers: Crazy Russian Dad. He decided to make daily videos for his YouTube channel for one year, and he did it (and then some!)

When I started my blog, I wanted to follow his example. Concrete goals help me stay on track. Posting on a schedule gives your followers a reason to trust you: if you show up, I’ll be here to continue the conversation.

I committed myself to one month of daily posts, and here I am.

“Just” another mom stepping back into the professional world

And then there’s a friend—a full time parent, like me—who’s been accepted into a graduate degree program. Her kids are younger than mine. She’s been out of the job market as long as I have.

We’ve commiserated many times about the creeping anxieties of the stay-at-home parent:

  • Can I step back into the world of work when I’m ready?
  • Am I relevant?
  • Is my contribution going to be valued?

She’s nervous about becoming a student again, and in a field outside of her undergraduate degree, but she’s facing those feelings down in pursuit of a dream.

I want to act as courageously as my friend!

She was another inspiration to create the content for which I saw a need. Her courage—though she doesn’t see it as such—helped nudge me into action. She helped me remember my voice, and gave me the courage to speak up.

I have something to say, and there are people out there who want to hear me say it.

Thank you!

Thank you so much to every follower and casual reader. Your attention has been very much appreciated. Let’s keep the conversation going!